Waiting for the sun to rise
CW PTSD
Sometimes I wake in the night before the sky has started to turn gray warning of the dawn. Fear intangible and elusive, choking me out of sleep. Often there is no nightmare or trace of dreams, no distant memory casting visions of the past, to explain this feeling. I just wake with the aching and terrible certainty that I cannot safely return to sleep.
I slip quietly out of bed and pad out in to my living room to stare out the eastern window. I sit and wait in the gray stillness for light and color to come back to the world.
Often a small quote from the Lord of the Rings comes to mind on mornings like this. “Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer.” The longer speech is inspiring but these short few lines carry me through as I’m waiting for the sun to rise.
“Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad happened. But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow.
Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer.
~ Samwise Gamgee
J.RR Tolkien’s The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers.
